


A Change of Scene

by SurlyCat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Eve, Dom Dean Winchester, Dom/sub, Dominant Castiel, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, Schmoop, Sub Castiel, Sub Dean, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:59:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2856746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurlyCat/pseuds/SurlyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Change of Scene

**Author's Note:**

> This is all [Lynn's](http://angelface-demonmind.tumblr.com) fault, giving me just one sentence, that managed to make itself into a whole fic somehow. Who knew I was harboring feelings about non-vanilla Destiel switching? I sure didn't, until now ;)
> 
> [Originally posted on my Tumblr.](http://surly-cat.tumblr.com)

Sure, it may seem like an odd thing to do, going to visit your Dom on Christmas Eve, but it's not like Dean has anywhere else to be tonight, and neither does Cas. So why not work out a little bit of holiday stress together?

So far, the night has started out like any other: walk in, strip by the door, kneel at his cushion and wait for Cas' instructions. It's nothing new, to not see Cas when he walks in, so Dean isn't put off when he kneels next to the armless chair that Cas likes to start off in most nights. He can hear Cas puttering around in his bedroom for a moment, before his footsteps come into the room and pause in the doorway.

"Hello, Dean," Cas says warmly. "I'm glad you could come by," he says, coming over and sitting down in the chair.

"Hello, Sir," Dean says, tamping down on the smile threatening at his lips at how glad he is to be here at Cas' feet, rather than at home drinking stiff eggnog by himself.

No matter how many times they've done this, Dean still loves this little moment, where Cas always reaches out to card a hand through his hair, and like always, Dean leans into the touch. He craves the tenderness just as much as the rest of it- if not more- and soaks up the affection like a thirsty plant, its roots begging for water. It's always gone sooner than Dean would like, but he doesn't let himself dwell on it, because Cas is the best Dom he's had; he's the perfect mixture of authoritative, rough, communicative, and vigilant, and Dean isn't one to complain, anyway.

"You seem to be in a good mood tonight," Cas comments.

"I'm okay. I slept in for once, so I'm well-rested," Dean says truthfully.

Cas hums to himself, eyeing Dean with that calculating look that never fails to make Dean's insides squirm with anticipation, and start slowly sending his blood southward.

"Up here," Cas orders, patting his lap.

Dean rises and climbs into Cas' lap, straddling his thighs. Cas' hands come up to smooth over Dean's legs, before moving on up to rest at his hips. Where he's expecting a command, or for Cas to start teasing at his nipples or cock, Cas instead surprises him with his next words.

"I’m think I'm feeling generous and would like you to tell me what _you’d_ like for Christmas,” Cas says, squeezing pointedly at Dean’s hips.

Dean blinks, trying to process. Is…is Cas actually asking what _Dean_ wants to do tonight?

"Um," he says, not quite sure what to say.

Cas just chuckles knowingly and leans in rake his teeth teasingly over Dean’s collarbone and press a little kiss to the spot before leaning back to catch Dean’s eyes again, blue eyes sparking with fondness and mirth.

"Tell me what you’d put on your Christmas list, because I hear that Santa is granting _all_ wishes tonight,” Cas grins.

Stupidly, Dean blushes from his chest to his ears, as if this right here is somehow more scandalous than the hundreds of times he’s knelt stark naked at Cas’ feet, or that time he accidentally came all over Cas’ pants in the middle of getting spanked across his lap.

With anyone else, Dean wouldn’t bat an eye at charming and seducing them into his bed, and coaxing toe-curling orgasms out of them with full confidence. But Cas? They’ve only had vanilla sex maybe twice, and that was way back at the beginning, and not even penetrative. In fact, this whole arrangement they’ve got was only born from a random hookup that just kind of…snowballed. Right on into Dean finding himself at Cas’ orgasmic mercy at least twice a week.

In a way, Dean kind of wants to tell Cas that he just wants the man to do what he always does because that’s comfortable and familiar, but something is niggling at the back of his mind, like a small itch that he kind of wants to scratch.

He’s going to do it. He’s going to ask, but he has to close his eyes to do it. “Would you, uh. I mean,” Dean fumbles out, startled when Cas pinches lightly at his nipple in reprimand. _Right. Eye contact._

When he opens his eyes though, instead of offering a command right away, Cas is giving him a thoughtful look, head tilted and eyebrows gently pushing toward each other.

"Stand up," Cas orders quietly.

Dean climbs off Cas’ lap and onto his feet, wondering what Cas has planned, when Cas stands up too, and directs Dean to sit in the chair, which he does without question. But then it suddenly feels like there isn’t enough air in the room, because _Sweet Baby Jesus, Cas is lowering himself to kneel at Dean’s feet, right between his knees. And holy shit on a communion cracker, he is NOT holding his hands behind his back, oh fuck._

"What would you like me to give you for Christmas, sir?" Cas asks, the very picture of submissive. The image itself is shocking, but even more so, Dean finds himself more than a little moved, and quite a bit aroused at the sight. Fuck, is this what Cas feels like when Dean does this for him?

With a shaky hand, Dean reaches out to run his hand through Cas’ hair, sucking in a breath when Cas leans into his touch. Dean clears his throat, grasping Cas’ hair only slightly; just enough to get his attention.

"Want your eyes on _me_ , Cas.”

When Cas brings his eyes up, Dean’s breath catches in his throat for a moment as it hits him that Cas is serious; the man actually intends on giving Dean the control tonight. The fact that Dean can see a spark of smugness in Cas’ eye is oddly comforting, as if reminding Dean that in some way, Cas is still in charge because really, the submissive is actually the one with the power in these dynamics.

Just to be sure, though…

”Unless there’s anything specific to you I need to know, I’ll use our normal system,” Dean says, giving Cas a chance to say his piece.

Cas smiles a little bit and shakes his head. “No, sir, that’s fine. I trust you’ll take care of me,” he says, looking up through his lashes.

Dean’s brain is still lagging a little bit with those words, as he gets caught up staring at the sight before him, of Cas still fully clothed and already half hard while Dean is still sitting there naked. If he thought it was maddening during those times Cas wouldn’t undress and give Dean access to his skin, it’s nothing compared to the feeling of knowing that Cas must surely wish he were getting naked right now. It’s surprising, how powerful Dean feels in his nudity at the moment.

"Come up here, then," Dean says, patting his lap, just as Cas had done earlier.

Cas climbs up to straddle Dean’s thighs, using Dean’s shoulders to get his balance.

"Hands behind your back, Cas," Dean says, grasping Cas’ hips to keep him steady as the man complies. Just because he can, Dean leans back in his seat, allowing himself to openly appreciate Cas in a way that he normally doesn’t allow himself. After a few seconds, Cas squirms a little bit, unused to being the one under scrutiny, but most certainly harder than he was a minute ago.

It feels strange to be allowed to reach out and touch and take as he pleases, but not strange enough to stop him from sliding a slow and too-light hand down the hard length in Cas’ dress pants, and relishing the way Cas visibly holds himself back. Dean only gives it one more pass before sliding his hands down to rest on top of Cas’ thighs, right below his hips and leaning in to kiss the full lips that he’s usually denied until after the fact, and only fleetingly at that.

Cas seems a little surprised that that’s what Dean chooses to do then, but returns the kiss happily, letting Dean set the pace and depth, and making these little contented noises that Dean swallows up with his own mouth. When he starts running his thumbs over the juncture of Cas’ thigh and groin, those noises turn throatier, and especially when Dean adjusts his hands so that his thumbs are brushing right against either side of the base of Cas’ cock. Cas’ hips give an aborted little thrust at the touch, and Dean immediately moves his hands away to rest on Cas’ hips again.

Cas’ lips press together tightly in frustration of the silent reprimand, and Dean can’t help the little laugh that vibrates in his own throat at seeing Cas be the one to feel perturbed by denial for once. He’s strongly considering teasing the hell out of Cas without letting him take off a stitch of clothes, in a sort of inverse of how their dealings normally go, but then he’d only be denying himself in that too. Cas is quite literally offering himself up like a Christmas present, so Dean scraps the idea, deciding to see if he really is allowed to demand something he’s been wanting.

After several more seconds of kissing Cas breathless, claiming his mouth in a way Dean never thought he’d get to, he pulls back with an affectionate squeeze of both hands on Cas’ ass.

"I’d like to fuck you," Dean says much more decisively than he actually feels.

Cas inhales a sharp breath through his nose, but doesn’t look put off, so Dean continues on. “Go to the bedroom and strip down, and then I want you on hands and knees on the bed.”

The corner of Cas’ mouth quirks up just slightly. “Yes sir,” he says, climbing off Dean’s lap and heading to the bedroom.

Dean takes a moment to run through a mental checklist of all the things he’s seen Cas do, that are meant to take care of Dean, so he can do this right. He grabs both a bottle of water as well as a glass of juice from the fridge, and heads back to the bedroom, walking in just in time to see Cas push his pants and underwear off his hips, making a relieved sound as his cock is finally freed. Dean leans against the doorway to watch, and the glass nearly slips from his hand when Cas crawls up on the bed, ass facing Dean like he’s presenting himself. It’s at once hotter than it has any right to be, and humbling, that Cas would offer up his trust and obedience, in light of how very different their dynamic has always been up to now.

Dean wastes no time going over to set down the glass and get the lube and a condom out, before joining Cas on the bed. He settles on his knees behind the man, a little embarrassed at how shaky his own hand is when he reaches out to lay a hand on Cas’ ass. Feeling the smooth skin beneath his palm is exciting though, and he doesn’t resist the urge to run his hand up Cas’ back, mapping out the curves and dips and grinning like an idiot at the fact that Cas arches into it, before running back down, to rest on his ass again.

"Thank you," Dean says quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Cas’ ass as he reaches over for the lube. "I feel honored, and even more at the fact that you’re listening to me to so well, already."

Cas shudders, head dropping down, and Dean runs a comforting hand down the side of Cas’ thigh. He knows exactly how vulnerable Cas must feel, and Dean wants so badly to make sure Cas doesn’t regret letting Dean do this.

Reaching around, Dean fists a hand around Cas’ cock, relishing the way it pulses in his hand, and the deep breath Cas releases at the touch. Dean strokes slowly with a loose grip, just enough to feel good, but nowhere near enough to get Cas off. It’s only a distraction and a kindness, to make sure Cas is relaxed as Dean brings a well-lubed finger up to prod at Cas’ hole.

The muscles in Cas’ back are tense, but it’s clear he’s making an effort to relax, so Dean decides to make it a little easier for him.

"Get down on your elbows," Dean orders.

Cas complies happily, forehead dropping to rest on his forearms. The man’s body relaxes a bit more, and Dean pushes his finger in, testing the give of the muscle around his finger, around the second knuckle as Cas muffles an odd sound in his throat.

"Do you ever do anything like this for yourself?" Dean asks.

”Not often,” Cas replies, voice husky and slightly trembling.

"How long has it been?"

After a thoughtful pause, Cas replies, “Probably about four months.”

Dean swallows, not sure what to think about the fact that that’s right around how long they’ve been been meeting up to play these little games. Instead, he rubs his thumb soothingly against Cas’ left ass cheek, where he’s grasping it so he has a clear view of what he’s doing, as he sticks his finger in the rest of the way, giving Cas a few seconds to relax into the sensation. When he feels the give, he starts thrusting slowly, until he’s sure Cas can take another finger.

Despite the extra lube Dean applied and the carefulness of his movement, Cas hisses when two fingers are pressed in, but he’d expected that; the second finger always burns a little bit. In consolation, Dean reaches back for Cas’ cock, stroking it with a little more pressure this time, in rhythm with his fingers as they start stretching and pumping a little faster. After a minute, Dean starts actively seeking out Cas’ prostate, and it only takes a couple of tries, before Cas chokes out a surprised sound and tightens around Dean’s fingers.

"Hmmm. Seems I found your happy button," Dean says, brushing over it again.

Hips twitching, it’s clear that Cas is trying to stop himself from rocking back on Dean’s fingers, and especially when he just barely muffles a moan. Dean immediately stills his hand, suddenly frustrated at Cas’ reaction.

"No. Your sounds are mine tonight, Cas," Dean says, surprising himself, and apparently Cas too, when Dean feels as much as sees the man shiver. Dean recovers quickly though, and rubs over Cas’ prostate again, pleased when Cas gives a throaty groan in reaction.

It’s a beautiful sound, one that Dean rarely gets to hear; Cas has been one of the quietest partners Dean has ever had, and though he’s plenty expressive, it’s always bothered Dean a little. Sometimes he just needs more than words and expressions to feel like he’s done a good job pleasing his partner.

Dean does it a couple more times just to hear it, a shiver going down his own spine at being allowed to hear it. The praise comes easier now, not feeling quite as foreign on his tongue as it did before.

"That’s beautiful, Cas. Love hearing it, and seeing how well you’re taking my fingers. Would you like another, sweetheart?"

_Sweetheart?_

Dean has no idea where the endearment came from, considering it’s something that neither of them have ever done, and he’s pretty sure that it was entirely inappropriate, considering that they aren’t even dating. At least Cas can’t see his face, where an embarrassed flush has risen up on Dean’s cheeks.

"Yes, please," Cas says, voice thick and deep.

Dean obliges, same routine as before, careful pace and gentle movements until Cas starts making more pleased sounds again. He’s still not moving more than little twitches though, and Dean frowns to himself, pausing his movements.

"Don’t hide your pleasure from me. Use my hand the way you want," Dean says, his own voice gone husky at the very idea.

Tentatively, Cas pushes back on Dean’s hand, a shudder wracking his body as he releases a deep breath. Seeming to realize that Dean isn’t going to help, Cas pushes back up onto his hands to give himself more leverage, and pushes his hips back, giving a quiet moan at the sensation. It only takes a few more pushes before Cas starts really moving, fucking himself more eagerly on Dean’s fingers, letting loose more of those wonderful sounds as a thin sheen of sweat builds up on his back.

The sight is probably the most erotic thing Dean has ever seen, and his neglected cock pulses and twitches, precome starting to ooze out. Fuck, it’s so much more than Dean ever thought he’d get to see, and he has to squeeze hard at the base of his own cock with his free hand. Cas is moving in earnest now, a steady stream of noises and half-mumbled curses dropping from his mouth, and Dean can sense the frustration starting to mount in the man, how badly he wants to come but is holding himself back, despite the fact that Dean never told him he wasn’t allowed to come.

"Tell me what you want."

"I want to come," Cas grits out.

"Would you like my help?"

"Yes, please," Cas replies.

"Describe. Tell me exactly how you would like my help," Dean orders.

Cas gulps a breath, leaning back down onto his elbows, as if needing to hide his face. Dean grunts a dissatisfied sound and taps the side of Cas’ hip.

"Uh uh. Don’t want you to hide from me. If you want my help, you’ll look at me and tell me what you want," Dean says, not sure where the words are coming from.

It takes a second, but Cas finally lifts his head to look over his shoulder, meeting Dean’s eyes for the first time since he got on the bed. Dean is almost taken aback at the wide-eyed look of vulnerability that he’s never seen before. Making every effort to make sure Cas sees nothing but acceptance and respect on Dean’s face, Dean waits patiently, and wouldn’t be surprised if Cas gives him the yellow light, if not red. But then Cas surprises him and Dean watches as Cas’ features pull into something like determination before he speaks.

"I want you to fuck me open on your cock until I can’t see straight. I want to come with you inside me, showing me exactly how much you enjoy fucking me," Cas says, eyes glinting in a sort of challenge.

A groan pushes past Dean’s lips before he can stop it, and he has to close his eyes at the obscene sight of his hand still in Cas’ ass, stretched around him and just waiting to be filled. The man clenches purposefully around his fingers, as if taunting Dean with what he could be feeling with his cock instead, and Dean’s eyes pop open to land a sharp smack to Cas’ left ass cheek that has the man rocking forward with the momentum and letting out a half-yelp, half-strangled moan. He realizes belatedly that the motion probably dragged his fingers right against Cas’ prostate along with the sting, and Dean barely holds back a smug grin at finally giving Cas a taste of his own medicine.

"Careful there with the attitude," Dean says warningly, smoothing over the hand print he left, when Cas concedes by dropping the haughty tension of his shoulders.

Satisfied, Dean finally pulls his hand out of Cas, smiling briefly at the small, unhappy sound Cas lets out at the loss. Wasting no time, Dean gets the condom on and lubes both of them up before shuffling forward to get their hips closer. He teases the head of his cock against Cas’ rim, just enough to prepare him for the sensation of what’s to come, and then starts to push in, petting over Cas’ thigh when the man tenses a bit and hisses at the intrusion.

Dean pushes in slowly, not wanting to hurt Cas, but not too slowly; Cas seems to be enjoying subbing more than Dean expected, and if the man is anything like Dean, he probably likes the little bit of sting. He’s proven right, when Cas starts pushing his hips back just a fraction, as if to speed the process along. After a minute, Dean is fully seated, and his arms are shaking with the force of trying to keep still where he’s bent over Cas’ back.

"Feel so good, sweetheart. Doing so well," he murmurs, pressing little kisses along Cas’ shoulder blades. Cas sighs at the touch, head dropping down as he goes back on his elbows.

Dean takes it as the ready sign, and pulls out until all that’s left inside is the head, and then pushes back in just as slowly, getting Cas used to the sensation, because here in a minute, he’s going to show Cas exactly how goddamned bad he wants him. He grinds in a bit on the second thrust, and Cas lets out a surprisingly high pitched groan that snaps Dean’s resolve.

Leaning back, he grasps the spurs of Cas’ hips like handles, and snaps his hips, driving into Cas and punching a moan out of the man. The next few minutes go by with Dean switching up the rhythm and force, drawing sounds out of Cas that he didn’t think the man capable of making. It feels fantastic, and he’s barely holding his arousal back, but it’s also somehow not enough, and he slows down to catch his breath, before pulling out completely.

"On your back. I need to see you," Dean says, voice hoarse and breathy.

Cas immediately rolls over, looking relieved to take the strain off his arms. Dean pushes Cas’ thighs up against his own chest, marveling at how flexible the man is, and the fact that he’d had no clue until now. Cas’ cheeks are flushed with both arousal and a little bit of embarrassment at having absolutely no way to hide, despite how dark with lust his eyes are. Dean wants Cas to know exactly how much he appreciates the permission to see such a thing and leans over to kiss the insides of Cas’ knees, over his sternum, and up to his mouth. For the second time, he seems to take Cas by surprise with his kisses, but it’s clear that it’s a welcome surprise, with the way Cas kisses him back, matching his fervor.

"Gonna take such good care of you, Cas," Dean murmurs, pulling back just enough to see where he’s aiming his cock and then pushing back in, swallowing the groan that Cas lets loose with his own lips.

This time, Dean doesn’t ease into it, pulling back now for optimal leverage, and fucking right into Cas as if his life depends on it. At some point in all of this, Dean must have let go of Cas' thighs; it's anybody's guess, considering that Dean is quite happily losing himself in the feeling of Cas all around him. He doesn’t remember when he moved, but Dean doesn’t really care either, when he finds himself only inches from Cas’ face, arms under the man’s back, and grasping at Cas’ shoulders as he does his damnedest to fuck the man within an inch of his life. It sends a little thrill through him as he realizes that Cas has wrapped his legs around him and is holding onto Deans back for dear life, fingernails digging into his shoulder blades.

Cas is making these little ‘uh uh uh’ sounds with every thrust, but his eyes are scrunched closed, and it’s not at all what Dean wants. He rarely gets to see Cas’ eyes when they’re fucking, and he’s damn well going to get to have this.

"Look at me," Dean breathes out.

Cas’ eyes snap open to find Dean’s, and it’s so much more intense than he was prepared for; it’s intoxicating.

"I’m going to watch you fall apart beneath me, and you’re going to keep your eyes on me," Dean informs him.

Cas is gulping air now, and Dean can feel the way Cas’ cock is trapped between their stomachs, which is all the better because it means Cas is getting plenty of friction where he needs it, and Dean doesn’t have to pull away a single inch. They’re both close anyway, but it’s only seconds before Cas’ voice takes on a sort of whine that has Dean letting out a loud moan at knowing that he’s responsible for it, and Cas is starting to clench around him.

"Come for me, Cas. Show me every second of what’s mine."

Two thrusts later, and Cas is practically shouting his release, clamping down so hard and staring at Dean with such open vulnerability and awe that it pushes Dean over as well, unprepared for how it would feel to witness such an event. Holy shit, Dean has _never_ seen Cas with any expression even remotely similar to what’s painting his face right now, and Dean has to look away first because Cas’ eyes are shining with unshed tears and it’s just too much.

Dropping his head to rest his forehead on Cas’ collarbone, Dean gasps for air as he works them through the last of it, and he honestly can’t tell which one of them is shaking right now, or if it’s both of them. When it seems like the aftershocks are mostly over, he pulls out carefully, but doesn’t move away, and instead pulls Cas even more tightly to him, as he rolls them over onto their sides.

Dean feels like he just witnessed the birth of a star, blinded and awed and taken aback by the force of what had to be the most intimate round of sex he’s ever had in his life. He knows he needs to start moving on to the aftercare, but figures he can wait just a couple more minutes for their breathing to calm down, and for him to get his own emotions under control, because like hell is he going to mess up the most important part of his job.

Once the trembling has calmed for what turned out to be both of them, Dean reaches a hand up to card through Cas’ hair, kissing him on the forehead.

"I’ll be right back," he says as he gets off the bed, watching Cas roll onto his back and throw an arm over his eyes with a long, deep breath.

Dean makes haste stripping the condom off and emptying his bladder, before getting a warm washcloth to wipe himself down first, and then rinsing out the cloth to bring back to the bedroom. Cas is exactly the way Dean left him, and Dean wishes he could feel smug about the fact that the man is so well-fucked that he doesn’t feel like moving, though Dean can tell he isn’t asleep. The distinct memory of Cas’ eyes looking so glassy keeps the smugness at bay though, because he needs to know if they were tears of being overwhelmed, or tears of shamed upset.

Dean’s legs feel like they’re made of jelly, but he still manages to seat himself gingerly next to Cas, so as not to startle him if he’s deep in his own head right now. Cas still doesn’t move, until Dean touches him with the washcloth on his stomach, and the muscles in Cas’ stomach leap while he moves his arm away to look down at Dean with his brows pulled together.

"Just cleaning you up," Dean murmurs, taking care to get everything wiped up before folding up the cloth and moving down to clean off the lube that ended up all over the place between Cas’ legs.

Cas looks mildly disconcerted at being cleaned up, but doesn’t stop him, and Dean supposes it probably does feel strange, being taken care of. A thought breezes through Dean’s mind, a curiosity of whether anyone has ever taken care of Cas at all, but he drops the thought quickly because Cas’ history is none of his business.

"Can you sit up for me?" Dean asks, petting a hand over Cas’ stomach. The man nods and clears his throat as if he wants to speak, but says nothing and takes the glass of juice Dean hands him once he’s upright.

Dean sits next to him, rubbing little circles over over his back as Cas drinks the juice, worrying more with each second that Cas doesn’t speak, that Dean had crossed too many lines. He may not have been physically rough, but Dean had certainly inflicted more than a few emotional commands now that he thinks back on it, and wouldn’t be surprised at all if Cas severs their agreement after this. The man had agreed to submit himself to Dean sexually, but that in no way implied permission for Dean to demand the sort of intimacy that he had. Shit fucking dammit, that was so not cool, and Dean had promised he’d take care of him without even considering that Cas wouldn’t want that sort-

"Lie back down with me?" Cas asks, breaking Dean from his thoughts, his voice quiet, and rough from use.

Dean responds by simply lying down on his back, and pulling Cas to him, relieved when Cas rolls into Dean’s side and rests his cheek right below Dean’s collarbone. Dean squirms for a minute to get the blankets out from underneath and then pulled over them, now that they’ve both cooled off a bit. Now that they’re covered, Dean runs a slow hand up and down Cas’ back for a few seconds, and then clears his throat.

"Are you okay?" Dean asks quietly.

Cas takes a moment, then, “That is not at all what I expected.”

The answer doesn’t surprise Dean, but it’s also not really the answer he needs. He’s considering how to word what he really needs to know, when Cas saves him the trouble.

"But I’m okay," Cas says, brushing his thumb over Dean’s ribs, where his hand has come to rest.

Dean lets out a relieved breath, giving Cas’ own ribs a little squeeze in acknowledgement.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Dean asks, voice laced with concern for the other man.

"Please do," Cas says, words slow with sleepiness.

Dean relaxes into the bed at that. “Is there anything I can do for you before we go to sleep?”

Cas groans an unhappy sound. “No, but I’d probably better use the bathroom first,” he says, pushing himself up to get off the bed. When he gets to his feet, his legs are wobbly and he winces at the tenderness in his ass, but seems okay to make it to the bathroom and back.

A minute later he hobbles back in and lies down with his back to Dean, scooting back to be closer. Dean takes the silent request for what it is and turns off the lamp by the bed before spooning into Cas’ back, pulling the man close.

"Night, Cas," Dean says, pressing a little kiss to the back of his head.

"Goodnight, Dean," Cas murmurs.

This isn’t the first time Dean has stayed the night in Cas’ bed, but it’s most certainly the first time Dean has gone to sleep with Cas in _his_ arms. It feels foreign, but also very satisfying, and has a swirl of butterflies kicking up in Dean’s stomach that’s almost terrifying, because this is so not the right time to let himself think about why they’re there in the first place. Right now he needs to just empty his mind and go to sleep, because Dean is a thousand percent certain that Cas will want to have a talk in the morning.

***

The mornings after with Cas haven’t been awkward since the first couple of times, but this right here is trumping both of those times put together.

They’d woken up within minutes of each other, Cas rolling out of the bed without a word to go to the bathroom, and then the shower starting up only a minute later. Dean helps himself to the other bathroom to take care of own morning needs, before pulling on his clothes from the night before, and making his way to the kitchen to start up some coffee and hunt down something for them to eat. He wrinkles his nose when the only suitable thing he finds is cereal, but pours up two bowls anyway, waiting on Cas to join him before bothering with the milk, and perfectly content to have a cup of coffee while he waits.

When Cas appears, he’s in a shockingly casual outfit of jeans and a t-shirt, and the difference from his usual appearance, where he’s always still in his suit from work, or in a bathrobe in the case of mornings, gives Dean pause. Dean has never asked Cas how old he is, but he looks a bit younger like this, and he can’t help but think that Cas might actually be closer to Dean’s age than he previously thought. Pushing the unnecessary thought aside, Dean wonders, why exactly, Cas has chosen to show this side of himself.

There’s no answer to be had though, as Cas stays quiet while he pours his milk, and even most of the way through his bowl of cereal. He doesn’t necessarily seem avoidant, so much as mulling something over, but he also isn’t giving any indication as to whether it’s something he intends on sharing. Dean’s about to ask Cas if he’d prefer that Dean leave, when Cas seems to intuitively sense Dean’s flight mechanism kicking in and sets his spoon down, pushing the bowl away from himself a few inches.

"We need to talk," Cas finally says.

Dean nods. “I figured as much,” he says, already slouching at the ‘this isn’t working out anymore’ he can feel hanging in the air.

"I’m going to be frank with you. Last night was the first time I’ve subbed in at least five years, and the first that I’ve bottomed in at least one," Cas says, pushing the spoon around in his bowl again, eyes focused on the movement.

Dean’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest, as anxiety about his actions the night before rise up even more at the news. He doesn’t want to discourage Cas from saying what he’s thinking though, so Dean schools his features as best he can.

"Well, I meant it when I said thank you last night," Dean replies.

Cas gives him a small smile. “I know you did,” he says quietly. He pauses for a moment, picking over his words as a thoughtful frown pinches at his brows. “But that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, too. Dean…you have to know that that wasn’t a typical experience for a Dom or their sub, right?”

Dean swallows hard, nodding. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, Cas. Wanted so bad to take good care of you, and I-“

Cas cuts him off with a hand reaching over the table to take Dean’s own. “You did, Dean. You took the best care of me, for what I needed,” Cas says softly.

The breath he releases isn’t entirely voluntary, as Dean realizes that he isn’t being told to fuck off and find someone else to play with.

"So you’re not mad at me?" he still needs to ask.

"No, Dean. But I do feel that I need to tell you something before we consider sleeping together again," Cas says, clearing his throat before bringing his eyes back up to Dean’s. "I’ve been developing feelings for you for a little while now, and I don’t think I can do this anymore, if we aren’t on the same page. I…I gave you more last night than I’ve given anyone in a very long time, and it seemed like everything you were asking of me was for me to give you _myself_ , and,” he breaks off for a moment, “and I wanted to give it to you. Have _wanted_ to give it to you, but I didn’t think you wanted that from me until last night. So please, be honest and tell me what you’re thinking.”

Dean feels like he’s going to vibrate right out of his skin. He’s known for at least a month and a half that he’s wanted Cas, but he’d never imagined that Cas would want him back, with how distant the man has kept himself. That distance is what had spurred Dean to make his demands the night before, his masochistic side having been willing to accept that he might only get that closeness the one time, knowing full well that it would hurt like hell if it was all he ever got, but needing to feel it at least once. He must have been thinking too long, because Cas breaks the silence with a quiet question, his voice heart-clenchingly small.

"Did you realize at the time that you were almost making love to me?" Cas asks, genuinely curious.

A whimper sounds in Dean’s throat before he can stop it, his cheeks hot with the swell of emotion in his chest.

"I didn’t mean to at first, but…fuck, Cas, do you have any idea what that felt like, you trusting me like that? You’re always so far away from me, and I just wanted you to be mine, even if just the one time," Dean says, not really sure if the words tumbling out are an answer, or a running mental commentary.

A small, tentative small is ticking at the corner of Cas’ mouth. “Yes, Dean, I do know what that feels like, if you’ll recall the last four months,” he says, smile edging slightly more toward humor, but not quite all the way there. “Does that mean you want me closer? More than just the one time?”

"Always want you, Cas," Dean says softly. "Thought it was my only chance," he adds, face heating up even more at the confession, before he realizes how that could be taken and backtracks. "I mean, not to top you. Well, that too, but I meant-"

Cas huffs a small, affectionate laugh, cutting him off to thread their fingers together, and a little thrill dances down Dean’s spine at the gesture.

"I think I know what you meant," Cas says, finally letting the smile slip onto his face. "But um, I wouldn’t mind to be just yours. If…if you’d like to be mine, too," he says, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. "I really kind of enjoyed it when you called me ‘sweetheart’," he confesses, a small blush tinting his cheeks.

"Cas," Dean says, voice cracking a little bit. "You’re too far away. Want you closer."

Without hesitation, Cas gets up and comes around the table, and Dean gets up too, because he doesn’t want a power dynamic right now, he just wants them to be Dean and Cas when he shows the man exactly what he thinks about it all, with his lips.

As soon as Cas is within reach, Dean pulls him in close, stomach abuzz in the best way at being allowed to do it with no dominance or submission involved, and puts as much _yes, yours, please, need you_ as he can into the kiss. Cas responds beautifully, pushing back with just as much, and Dean can feel himself melting into the other man, but is helpless to stop it.

Thankfully, Cas is a little more capable at the moment and starts moving them to the couch to give them both a little more support. Dean goes easily, smiling into the kiss when Cas arranges them so that they’re simply facing each other, both of them touching each other with reverent hands on a neck or cupping a jaw, a hand cradling the other’s head, and lips that are finally pouring honesty into each other’s mouths.

Dean loses track of time, drunk on the feeling of Cas being as close as Dean wants him, but also perfectly fine with the way the kiss starts winding down after a while. Because Cas isn’t going to keep him at arm’s length, or prevent Dean from having what he needs, when they pull apart.

"Fuck, I needed that," Cas says with a loopy grin when the kiss reaches its inevitable end.

Dean barks a laugh at the uncharacteristic statement, and can’t help but lean in to press another quick kiss to the man’s grinning lips.

They stay quiet for a while, both just enjoying the warm buzz of something new and mutually wanted as they slump together on the couch. A question starts itching at his mind though, and after a few minutes he feels like it needs to be asked.

"So um, how is sex going to work now?"

"Well, typically, in a relationship between two men, it’s wise to use lubricant and prepare your partner first," Cas says, eyes glinting in contrast to the seriousness of his face.

"You’re a smartass," Dean says disbelievingly. "You’ve been holding out on me, Cas," he grins.

Cas returns his grin with a small chuckle. “In all fairness, there isn’t much room for humor when you’re telling someone not to come while you’re doing everything in your power to try and make them do it,” he smirks.

"But to be truthful, I actually quite like bottoming, though I’m not sure I always want it to be under he pretense of power exchange. The only reason it had been so long for me is because I seem to attract those that don’t even offer to top," Cas shrugs. "If I’d known you wanted to try it, I would’ve tied you down and ridden you a long time ago."

Dean shudders at the easy admission, cock twitching in his pants at the very thought of Cas just hopping on and using him like a living dildo, while Dean would be helpless to do a damned thing but watch. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, shifting in his seat at the image, and the knowing look he receives; it’s a look he’s seen many times, and always leads to good things.

"Moving on though, I’d like to sub for you again, but I need to work back up to it a bit at a time, just as much as you’d need to learn more about being on the other end. Though you did do quite well for not having done that before. Or I’m assuming?"

"Yeah, that was a new one for me," Dean says, rubbing the back of his neck. "But thank you. And um, I’d like to keep doing scenes like we have been, but maybe not all the time?"

"So. Part-time vanilla, then?" Cas asks, eyebrows raised. When Dean nods, Cas does too. "Well then, we’ll need to discuss a new set of conditions sometime. But for right now, would you mind if we just," Cas cuts off with a startle, when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

He pulls it out and opens up his messaging screen, confused for a second as he reads, and then comprehension dawning as he huffs a laugh to himself.

"It’s Christmas," he says, turning a grin on Dean. "It’s Christmas, and I completely forgot until now," he says, laughing as he runs a hand down his face.

"Dude, we ate cereal with a tiny tree on the other end of the table, and we’re sitting on the couch together because your ass decided to play Santa Dom last night," Dean says, privately pleased at his double-entendre as he quirks an eyebrow.

Cas rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder against Dean’s. “A lot has happened since last night, and you might have fried a few of my brain cells, okay?”

Dean smirks and leans in to kiss the bolt of Cas’ jaw, still reveling in the knowledge that he’s allowed to do it now. “I guess that’s fair,” he says, moving to kiss the corner of Cas’ mouth now. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

"Merry Christmas, Dean," Cas smiles back. "Now, come help me find something that looks seasonally appropriate so I can pretend I remembered, when my sister Skypes in later."

Dean stands up first and offers Cas a hand up, smirking when the man winces. Cas gives him an unimpressed look that only serves to endear him to Dean, and before he plans on saying it, the words are coming out.

"Wanna come with me to my Christmas thing later? Since you said you’re not going anywhere today, or whatever."

Cas’ eyebrows go up in surprise, but then they lower back down slowly as a warm smile settles on his lips. “I’d love to, if you’re sure about that.”

Dean’s smiling now too. “Yeah, Cas, I’d like you there. Kinda wanna show you off, since uh,” he pauses, rubbing at his neck, “everyone’s sorta been on my back about who I’ve been not-dating?”

Cas leans in to give Dean a short kiss, slotting their hands together. “As long as you don’t mind to stick around and meet my sister, who’s been on my ass about who I’ve been not-dating, too.”

"Let’s do this, then," Dean grins. "But I’m warning you, we do ugly sweaters in my family."

"Even better," Cas says dryly, but his eyes are twinkling, and Dean has never been so excited to get home and put on an ugly sweater.

**Author's Note:**

> If you got this far, thank for reading, and I hope you enjoyed by confusingly feelsy dom/sub thing here :D


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